Sunday, May 13, 2012

Catching the Vision of Motherhood.

Today has been a wonderful mother's day. I think the best part for me was one of the talks in sacrament meeting on "catching the vision of motherhood." The message was so simple and yet one that I too often forget in day-to-day life. In her talk, this sweet mother of a beautiful little baby girl admitted to feeling inadequate, even insecure in the decisions she has made as a mother. She has often felt judged for things like not choosing to make her own baby food, or use cloth diapers, or cook a meal every night for her family. And yet deep down she knows, and we all know, these are not the things that define us as mothers.

What WILL the judgement for us be as mothers? How many arts and crafts projects we did with our children? The cleanliness of our bathrooms? Whether or not our children eat their vegetables? Certainly not. We will be judged on how well we taught our children the gospel, how well we instilled values, and if we did the best we could--whatever that is for each of us.

I often find myself caught in the trap of feeling like the decisions I have made with my husband for our family are not good enough. In child development there is a level of development where an imaginary audience is created--and always judging. The child (typically teenager) will feel like EVERYONE saw them trip on the stairs and is laughing as they text their friends about it. Not so. Maybe one or two people saw and they probably feel badly more than anything. Well, in my mommy development I feel like I have created my own imaginary audience. I make a decision and WHAM! I feel like I am being judged left and right, even when I may not be. So on this day of mothers, I am making a new resolution. I want to rid myself of this mommy guilt and feeling of judgement. My goal for the upcoming weeks and months is to make decisions, to not feel badly, and to not feel the need to justify what I feel is good for my family.

My hope is that with some practice I can simply be more focused on my family and our goals and not what other people may be doing or thinking. This will sweeten my relationship with everyone around me and will allow me more energy for this wonderful profession of motherhood.

Here is to another year of being a mommy and another year of striving to improve. Happy Mother's Day.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

I feel like life is just racing on by! Every day I have a to-do list, and every day it gets shot to pieces. I'm not sure that I'll ever catch up on housework or projects; I'm starting to think that is just how it goes with three kiddos. But hey, it's a pretty darn cute trade off if you ask me!

 My parents came into town last weekend for Ezra's baby blessing and Lucy's 2nd birthday. It went by WAY too quickly. We miss you, grandma and grandpa! And of course one thing I wanted to do was take lots of pictures--but, nope. Didn't happen. I had to steal all of these from my dad's camera.

Dorothy modeling one of her new dresses from grandma
(with a super handsome side-kick).

 Grandma and Grandpa Vieira came to help celebrate!
(and, yes, I'm pretty sure Lucy is picking her nose in this picture)
 The birthday girl in her grandma Vieira-made fairy costume!
She did such a good job!
 And a nice three generations candid shot.
The blessing was beautiful, and the birthday party for Lucy was wonderful. We couldn't have asked for better company. Thanks to everyone who came and to mom and dad for traveling so far! Not living super close to any of my family, we have to savor every minute of the visits we get.

And now I'm off to check one thing off of my to-do list: SLEEP.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Ruby's Story

A name came to me while we were pregnant with Ezra. We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl yet, but I kept thinking about the name Ruby Jane. Now that I know about this little angel, I'm starting to think that the name isn't necessarily for one of our babies but rather to remind me of what being a mother is all about. Thank you, Ruby Jane, for your time on earth and all the good you did in seven short months.